i thought he was 22...he said he was 25..he was 19...im 26..it doesnt count if you dont know right?
smoked weed with Joakim Noah last night....if he was half as fast to the basket as he is to grab a joint from me we'd have another championship on our hands
Straightened my pubes. My dick looks like John Lennon fucked Gonzo.
just found a sign outside my brothers door "not going to church, don't even try" and he is covered is vomit in his bed.
Someone just uploaded pictures on facebook of you making out with random girls. I'm telling you because I'm assuming you don't remember anything, but the 236 pictures in the album should give you a good clue.
I intend to get homeless drunk
I honestly can't remember your justification for putting peanut butter on your cell phone.
gladiator or hannah montana?
This is why I never have to ask who you are when I get a new phone.
Listen I know you hate her for what she did but this is getting our of hand. Please please tell me where you hid her wedding dress.
Bro my mom is in for two days and you can't even hold back on the drinking she said as she left i hope he doesn't always pee his pants and he is sure popular with the girls wtf
I actually had to tell him that sex doesn't replace my Tupperware. Our relationship has reached a weird level.
He saved you from those guys at the club, took you home, and made you breakfast. If this isn't your come to Jesus moment IDK what is.
I ate breakfast with him. And by ate breakfast I mean we fucked on the kitchen table.
I remember 2 things. 1. Hanging through the window. 2. And she needing a bucket to puke in. That’s all. I have no other memory.
Man, I miss taking bong rips in my room. Now they are bringing dogs around so all my stuff is hidden in random places up in the woods. I literaly have to hunt and gather just to get high.
Randomize
