Why do I always have sex on the first date when I know it demotes me to booty call girl?
I tried calming him down but his eyes are rolling to the back of his head and he's yelling "COMA WEED!"
i really care about you, respect you, another gay word, and another gay word... lets just drink
My cab driver just texted me 'goodnight beautiful'. I think my 'desperate for a guy phase' has just moved into a fuck my life phase.
Idk we were snorting lines and making out in the stall while these people were cheering us on, on the other side. And that's when I realized he wasn't the only guy in the girls bathroom.
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
I left the guinea pigs on the dryer. Make sure to take care of them.
You have plans tonight?
Stress crying into a bottle of long island ice tea mix...other than that nope
don't trust your eyes. just sniff them. if they smell like axe, they are broke, move on to the next.
How do you respond to a booty call from yesterday?
I'm gonna guess ur still high cus last night at like 3am my pillows were morphing into cats and I kept trying to pet them
On the shuttle bus from the Casino the driver refused to take us to the strip club so you said "let me off this bus or ill puke on you".
I have nice boobs. Don't wanna deprive anyone of the experience.
You're a saint.
He burst in the bathroom while I was peeing to hand me my beer I was looking for earlier tht night. And my pants were already down so I thought why not
You walked right into the door. Even the door guy and security guys were laughing.
Randomize
