I wish all the girls i wanted to sleep with knew how big my dick was then id have a better chance
MIND BOGGLER: batman and jesus are the same person. Think about it.
Our relationship just reached the stage where i can touch her boobs while making a honking noise without getting hit in the face
If my bosses could see, smell or hear me right now they would understand why its a horrible idea to keep the office open sundays
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
just got double teamed by two guys I will be on beach patrol with this summer. six months until the season starts and I'm already 'that girl.'
You sir are most definitely in. Better get your penis an umbrella as that bad boy is gonna get soakkkkkkeddddd.
You need to stop blackout tweeting at him to have sex with you on the roof of your dorm. He doesn't even have a twitter.
Nice just gets you lonely or dead. I don't like those options.
If you do that, i will make all sorts of uncomfortable comments about my nipples being soft
Pounding your chest saying "me Tarzan" is not flirting or even talking
the new numbers in my phone would beg to differ
Oh and an honorable mention for your father's porn collection. Things I'll never forget.
Well my summer has already been productive. I partially caused a divorce.
I got my period during my acid trip. It was weird.
Wait an hour then go and untie him. Bring toilet paper and some spare underwear. Want anything from Starbucks?
Randomize
