Springtime is officially here. I just used pool water to fill up the bong
i love that he's uncircumcised. it makes handjobs so much easier. it's the lazy susan of penises.
I just ate a whole pineapple for lunch. You should be begging to give me a bj tonight.
I fucked him in the bathroom at Cedar Point. if it hadn't been for me already combining my two favorite things in the world the whole bathroom thing would have been a little disgusting.
its preseason football. its like non alcoholic beer. who gives a fuck
I would just like you to know that the guy I blew off last weekend to come find ur drunk ass just got drafted into the major leagues.
Moment of silence for the loss of that option.
He bought segways. We ride them when we get drunk. Last night he ran through the sliding glass door.
Tommarow we shall sacrifice the freshmen to the sun god
Licking pop rocks off a stranger's washboard abs and kissing strangers young enough to be my kid. Yeah, it was THAT kind of party last night
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
Well, most of my extended family doesnt know about my love for the penis, so they dont have a reason to disown me
Apparently "dick me" was not the response he was looking for.
why isn't there a kind of gay where i let guys give me head but they don't expect me to give it back? i could be that kind of gay
He was that good?
I couldn't find the oven mitts so I used a thick stack of tortillas
Get ready for me I'm full of tequila and I want to be full of you next
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