Moved my bed either I'm a whore or every guy I have ever slept with hid condom wrappers under my bed
she went to pee and i could hear her singing "Drip Drip Drop LIttle April Showers" from Bambi through the door.
so he reminded me it was our 9 month anniversary and then said "we could've had a baby by now"
why is allison so mad at me??
me and her walked into dans and you yelled "hello my dear alli, you're looking mighty overweight today!".
crap..
the only thing i remember last nigh is talking to some chick for thirty minutes about cheese.
i would bitch about being this hungover, but honestly im just happy to be alive after this weekend
I vaguely remember having a 'grass is greener' conversation about our nipples. Dream or beautiful reality?
Beautiful, beautiful reality
Just had a heart to heart with my John Belushi poster.
how do you not remember that?! you winked at the bouncer and then proceeded to grind on him while chugging a beer. i don't know if i should be proud or embarrassed to be your friend
Please show REO speedwagon ur boobs for me.
I know I've become a responsible adult because this time, I'm not going to do the drugs I found on the ground
It's official. I have spent more money on weed than on textbooks this semester.
You sending me our unborn, unfertilized babies' names is not what I envisioned when you said you'd "drunk text me later".
Honestly, if you don't have a lawsuit pending against you by this time tomorrow, I'll be impressed.
I don't know which is weirder: that she was old enough to have a live-in son close to my age, or that the woman he was with was close to hers
Randomize
