Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
All I remember is saying that "fire will make it all better"
I'm buying eyelash glue, salt, and limes. We know how tonight is ending.
i have a picture in my phone of you with a bottle of tequila in your back pocket. i believe you were saying "pocket of champions" or something along those lines
Did you mean to cry when you finished last night? Or were you just that drunk?
She sucked my dick and I swear I almost had to send a search party into her mouth to find it. IT WAS THAT AMAZING.
It's been so long that I've occasionally forgotten I own a vagina
Totally clawed myself in the face during sex. I can die happy?
And that was the night we had mind-blowing sex with the score from Raiders of the Lost Ark blaring on vinyl in the background...
You've been dating this guy for a month now and as your best friend I have to complain that I still don't how big his dick is.
Well, I was asked to leave the Waffle House for "being to physical" so I think that option is off the table
I wouldn't hesitate to give up my job to have regular bowel movements again
he pulled my tampon string out with his teeth like a grenade pin yelling frag out! That's why I fuck guys back from deployment. They'll go the distance
I am real keen for none of this to be taken out of context so let’s just shut it down right now
Our faces when the strip club was closed looked like the grinch just stole Christmas ☹️
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