How long do you think herpes can live on chapstick?
is it wrong that I prefer my women with low self esteem and a smidgen of an eating disorder?
Does transporting jello shots count as driving with an open container?
idk how it happened. she made a very smooth transition from crying to blowing me
hey, when you wake up, search yourself on youtube
my sister already found it, were watching it right now. i give it 2 thumbs up.
He literally just walked in some random persons house and walked right to they're pantry. Then five minutes later he walks out with pop-tarts, mac and cheese, and captain morgan. We need to chill with this kid more often.
We don't have a lot of plans besides weed and cake
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
I mean really it's like when you're super hungry and you can't decide what to eat, you just know you want food. This is that situation, but for my vagina
he just gave me a love letter in polish. he thinks i speak polish. I DONT SPEAK POLISH
Wow, I just woke up in this conference with the woman beside me staring at me. This is what happens when hungover people sit in warm rooms...
I just sneezed and margarita mix and ash came out of my nose. I love jersey
The last two times I had sex with him I forgot who it was half way through
Congrats on dating a convict, there's no fitbit badge for that one.
I feel kind of like we’re in a gang and tonight is one of those “people are gonna know not to fuck with us” type of nights. And then tomorrow I am going to learn to pole dance. I’m not really sure how I got to this point in my life… but I like it.
Randomize
