Third unemployed latin in my bed this week. I'm on a roll
I need help removing her.
WHY CAN'T YOU EVER SHIT LIKE A NORMAL PERSON, JESSE.
I want to do you till i cant cum anymore. Till all i get is a little flag that says "bang".
she was definitely a virgin. no ones that bad unless theyre a virgin
your sister was..
I was crying hysterically and you wouldn't stop petting my ear and shushing me every time I tried to say something.
Yeah... I was considering changing that part but the boxed wine is non-negotiable.
I never thought the first time a taser would be used on me would be at an applebees
He stole a bottle of grenadine from the bar. And got arrested. His new cell mate is going to love his bright red lips.
Only you could walk of shame to a childrens pirate themed birthday party
Told my prof I have mono so that he won't judge me when I show up hungover and looking like shit to class every day.
Just skip
Please. i have SOME standards
I'm not sure... How do you tell someone who was so smashed they couldn't remember shoving their dick into the fireplace that their mother actually witnessed the whole thing?
Besides, I don't need any more men there who have seen my tits. #bearwatch2014
It's just unfortunate that I still have the image of him having sex with me fresh in my mind
Quit being awkward towards me every time the group is together. They're going to figure out we're fucking.
Randomize
