I'm sitting here watching a kid lick a basketball- where have i gone wrong in life?
I am NOT getting arrested in a batman mask
you definitely made a grilled cheese using your iron..
ya and it worked didnt it??
Is there anything medically wrong with drinking beer from a vagina?
How did the beer even get there in the first place?
That's not what's important right now
Not going out tonight. And so the 25 day drinking streak ends....
Driving around Panama at 7 am looking for an open liquor store..
Just found out they make medicinal lollipops, bought like 40 of them. Gonna go fill a pediatricians lollipop bowl.
Her mom is home on her lunch break. Guess who's hiding In the Closet?
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
Well his arms broken so they only cuffed his good wrist to his belt. That's how he cast smacked me in custody.
after you left he started opening his bottles by smashing the neck against the edge of the fireplace and pouring beer into his mouth. it was about the manliest thing ive ever seen. its probably how lumberjacks open their beers... if they didnt have their axes handy.
I'm not sure. But he has a pet sugar glider. So, points either way
As long as that's not his name for his dick.
Good rule of thumb: only list personal references with whom you have hallucinated
Is it sad that my idea of a quality foursome would involve one person eating me out while the other two rub my feet?
oh man there are to hot chicks wrestling in a pool of maple syrup. ill send you a picture
this is why i will never break up with you
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