My breakfast consisted of a slimfast and an adderal. My fridge is like an insecurity buffet.
this just has baby written all over it
Even Lady Gaga hates Purdue
He was ugly. Like horse ugly. But he was built for power, not for speed.
This is the most scared i've been of my hands since i did shrooms.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
I know shes my ex. And I know she punched me in the face and stole my car to go get drunk. But it's the best sex I've ever had.
You're sick. Take pictures if you can.
It was a taxi full of fist pumps and chanting to "face down, ass up". It was that 1% that makes my job worth it.
That's what tomorrow is for. It's like bloodletting. Except with shame and liquor.
You told us that you don't have to wait in line at Taco Bell. Then, drove up to the window and grabbed someone else's food.
We kinda got asked to leave the strip club and on the way out, you fell again. When you finally got up we got a standing ovation from the girls behind the bar and you took a bow. It was awesome.
Have you ever been so high that you felt like corduroy? I'm at that level.
I'm just to the point my give a fucks is so far in the red that I'm going to have to take out a 30yr loan of fucks to repay it
If I'm getting through this pandemic I'm doing it drunk.
Randomize