I want 2 things right now, you or a cig
cig
The guy asked if i had a problem w/set schedules
My 3rd grade teacher, who was also my fav, thought i was in prison. That seriously upsets me.
So random guy from last night came over tonight. I told myself I wasn't going to sleep with him but he had some killer dirty talk and a big penis in his arsenal...what was I supposed to do? Supposedly he lost his virginity to his wife and since their divorce a year ago I'm the 1st girl he's slept with, I feel like I just re-took his virginity...I feel like a rockstar.
He kept starring at my ass and repeating "Its Just a beautiful piece of artwork."
Handjob with gloves on results in friction burn. In case you've ever wondered
I was walking around outside with a basket of eggs. I feel like little house on the prairie: hungover edition.
who has that picture of us looking like alcoholics at the zoo?
Found a beard hair in my crotch.... care to explain?
There was a guy on the elevator dressed as santa in flip-flops giving away beer.
i came outside and he was eating her out on my lawn. i refuse to pick up the dog shit in my yard so i hope he chose the spot wisely
Spending the night with him made me realize that stupid people both irritate and fascinate me, so I'd say it equaled itself out.
Just because your gf gives mediocre bjs doesn't mean I can fill that void
He tried to do a JoJo pose and wound up breaking his wrist in the process. Truly a story for the ages.
I can't decide which is the most disgusting: emily having sex on the stairwell of a frat, michelle shaving her vagina with a razor she found in a frat bathroom, or me getting fingered on the dance floor by some rando. opinions?
Randomize
