Whatever it was. it was pregnant.
This is a dangerous game of "whose life is more pathetic".
Banging bitches in a bar bathroom is not legit as it was in college, there are no fistpumps afterward only shame
we weren't quite sure what was on that mirror, so we snorted it and hoped for the best
Tequila bombs in champagne seemed like a good idea at the time.
Well let's just say that she ended up trying to get it in with the wheelchair guy, who btw, can get an erection and quickly I might add
want the rest of his teeth to fall out while he slowly dies alone. Pretty sure I'm to the anger phase.
Ya, because touching his brother's face for 20 minutes in front of him wasn't bad enough, I also threw up in his garden and stole like 10 of his shirts before I left. But I fed his dog, so it's okay.
I think he is probably a psycho that will eventually murder me but i mean the sex last time was AWESOME.
No foreplay. Missionary. Too quick. And he owns a fedora.
I almost fell asleep reading that.
I almost fell asleep fucking it.
Last night you texted me "tqiirkykbg doe freedom always"... why?
Pretty sure I have a sex related back injury. I'm not sure if I should be proud or ashamed.
Should I rub the neighbors amazon package in the dog shit they left on the front steps?
I told the cop I was late for a booty call. He still gave me a ticket but he wrote his number on it
saying im screwed is like saying the titanic took on a little water.
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