All I want to do is go home, strip down to my pants, get in the shower and pee down my leg
Should I ask him to prom mid fuck? That way he has to say yes.
Do brothers usually kiss their sisters?
hows the new call of duty?
I only had sex with the game case so far, but that part was awesome.
The 9th floor RA wants to know why we stacked 21 cinder blocks in the shower, and I can't remember. Do you?
update: ifinallt managed t5o be in a. Horizontal position without throwing up... the snmall victories.
He tried to use a signal flare to light the bong
And?
He melted the stem
She pushed me over. She offered me a shot from her tits. We're good now
She tried to beat the waitress over the head with a bread stick because one of her martini olives was missing a pimento. All while screaming "IT'S GAMEDAY BITCH"
Olive Garden will never be the same.
We hotboxed his closet and accidentally lit some of his shirts on fire... do we have a fire extinguisher?
i just teared up watching channing tatum in drag emerge from the fog on lip sync battle. it's gotta be PMS. either that or something is realllllly wrong with me.
Really need a jack off emoji
Who do we write to about that?
My mom found me this morning passed out, face down on my dinning room floor
That must have been one awkward situation haha
Well I woke up in my bed.... I don't remember her finding me
How do you explain to your parents that you can't go to the library because you got banned for being drunk in there... on a Sunday afternoon?
That's $100,000 of quality education right there.
That bitch claimed that you said it was ok if she drank your vodka. Obviously she has never met you
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