Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
she looked like she should be chained to micheal vicks radiator
I just saw a girl make a shank with the underwire in her bra...
all adderall does is make me the grand champion of using wikipedia.
just once i'd like the "right thing" and the "topless thing" to be the SAME THING
You insisted I take photos of you vomiting off the top of the tree.
It was really weird walking into a CVS and not going straight to the pharmacy for plan B.
I almost got away with it until she smelled beer on the stroller.
Listen to my proposal.... I feed you crackers while I fuck you ever so gently.
For the sake of my mom, I can't sleep with two guys with the same name. She has a hard enough time keeping up as it is
I asked him why I was having sex with him in the middle of having sex. It was sufficiently awkward.
See I would make a great girlfriend. My surprises are sex and burritos. What else do guys want
I had my first "Damn Kids/When I Was That Age" rant at work today. We need to drink this feeling out of me. NOW.
I'm at the back whiskey bar with a 7 and 7 in a winnie the pooh costume. Come find me.
I guess I was running around slapping people in the face with a slice of turkey telling them that the only way to beat alcohol addiction is to go cold turkey.
Randomize
