Bar closing I am hiding in the bathroom. do you think anyone will find me?
I told him to come back in 5mins cause i needed to take a few more shots before i could talk to him
Have u ever been so drunk that pissing urself felt like a better idea than walking to the bathroom? I entered those waters last night
Um, I don't really remember much about the event... and then I woke up on the metro..
I convinced a girl to do a shot of salsa someone fell through the whole on the porch and Sara swallowed a beer tab
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
idk what id do withouhrh yoy btro
Im only pretending to be his friend so I can sleep with his girlfriend.
You poured your drink on yourself and then said "it's not a party until I'm wet"
Guess what happened to me today at work?
I have chlamydia. What happened.
Oh lets talk about your news first. Mine is happy so it should go second.
Bitch looked at my dick and said "I thought they called you horsecock, I'm already disappointed"
I told you that line would get her home never said it was a good idea
I wish I was a power ranger. Also the universe is immense. Like it never ends. Never.
Realized it was likely to be cursed, didn't want my own Johnson magically turning into some sort of fire breathing reptile and eating me
That is an interesting fear as well as image
He tried to stop traffic by waving his half eaten pizza at cars.... And we were stupid enough to cross .....??!!!
He showed me his scar from his appendix surgery. It was educational and fun....
Randomize
