All I remember is drinking vodka out of tupperware.
How much time is enough between masturbating and watching little bear?
Sometimes you gotta take the crosseyed stripper. fuck it
It's like she can't drink without using a flambongo
You said you were going inside to sober up and then you poured yourself a wine glass of warm gin
Sorry I was drunk and left blood all over your back seat I was pretending to be in private Rayan and used your thong as a bandage
We are sitting here staring into each others eyes, mutually rubbing forks up and down our respective noses. High as balls doesn't even begin to cover it.
Cry into your wine glass and then drink the tears, it's like the fountain of youth
Hey super random I have you in my phone as "downtown likes to go fishing girl" haha does that sound like you
Where are you? We're in between the guy dressed as a giant inflatable penis and the Justin Bieber lookalike lesbians
Does the penis have a genital wart?
Sex is always the answer.
Especially if the question is: what have I not had this year?
I'm gonna chug this bud light an might injure this high school penis, like I'm 17 again
I'm up in my room and I just saw a naked guy sprint out into the streets from my mom's party downstairs
1) break up with him. 2) feel bad. 3) fuck some other guy. 4) feel better. Boom! Life plan. You're welcome.
Hey I didn't mean to come across like I was judging you about your liberal sexual choices. I would like details of your threesome if you need to talk about it!
Randomize
