The guy dancing on me has three visible teeth. WHERE ARE YOU?
no. you can't hotbox the world.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
I almost masterbated to the avatar love scene ha it was so hot
I remember seeing LSAT prep books and thinking "Whose room is this? I should be hooking up with them instead."
You only ask me to come over when your gf is gone, and thats usually at midnight to cook chicken salad and watch you pass out
Listen, you can whine about not having a "red" wine glass, or you can suck it up and chug it from the vase like the rest of us. The choice is yours.
She sucks dick like Beethoven on piano, but talking to her is like Simple Jack in Tropic Thunder. Still working out the pros vs cons list.
FULL ON LADY WOOD. YOU CAN SEE THE VEIN
Huh. I think I went to highschool with the hooker my neighbor just brought home.
You were so drunk, you called my cruise control, the "auto pilot" and asked my car politely to take us to Taco Bell.
Friends don't brand friends with cigars. It's not how it works.
It's a noodle incident. All I can say is that it was completely accidental, no one was too seriously injured, and I'm not allowed back to that bar without a designated pusher for my wheelchair.
the night was just a blur of sex and pie
You know Sunday Funday was a success when 'puke and rally' came at lunchtime on Monday.
Shriek
Randomize
