Writing my paper on freud at bar
??
Going up to girls and asking if they were anal explosive or anal retentive as children
Smooth
dude i totally did the walk last night came out of her room to see her dad sitting there straight lookin at me...wtf
I intend to get homeless drunk
Sorry I sent so many blank messages. My hands are slippery. Don't ask why.
And in my birthday dress, with my friends, i peed on myself in line for the club. Still went in and partied. I remember pieces
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
I'm going to need your assistance. I cannot walk back to the house in a bear costume.
You slammed your forties down on the table and yelled "I AM EDWARD FORTYHANDS" then mumbled something about repping Idaho like a champ and laid down on the couch.
If I had a mugshot, I would totally use it as my main picture on Tinder, just to keep it interesting.
I was hoping for a marriage proposal... Or at least an offer to sleep in his bed.
His mom finally got over her shame and smoked a bowl with us. Merry Christmas to all aka me.
Someone messaged me on POF and wished me a Happy International Women's Day. Why do I even bother anymore?
I wish there was a tumbleweed emoji. Because that would describe my vagina.
Want to sleep. Also want to see Alex on MDMA doing really stupid shit. Choices...
The amount of illegal things I've done this weekend is astounding.
Randomize
