and then he ordered a "diet and rum" like the most important part of the drink was the diet.
ah, there's nothing like waking up to picture messages of a strange man's cock. life is good.
haha, that's fucked up. flacid cock pictures are the mental breakfast of champions.
my advisor is telling us the best way to sneak in alcohol on move in day. I definately picked the right college
My cleaning lady just walked in the kitchen and i had a hardcore boner. I dont know what awkward is anymore
once you get past the part where you think youre gonna die, its the most amazing drug ive ever experienced.
Woke up with a raging boner...good feeling abt this trial
I have bruises everywhere. I think I took "the drinks are strong" as more of a challenge than a warning.
I don't know what's worse the the fact he has worn a protective cup for last 3 years in fear of being kicked in the balls. Or the fact that the one day he decides to throw caution to the wind and doesn't wear it and actually gets kicked in the balls.
Who in tha hell do u hang out with?
he told me i could have the honorable privilege of being the second girl to have sex with him in his new apartment, what a gentleman.
Taking a shit on the side of the road is not how I imagined this morning would start.
Wearing the 'Let's Party' thong feels weird without you...
I just held a marble with my kegel muscles for 5 min. You may call me COCKCLAMP 9000!!!!
After owing so much in back child support they should make vasectomy a mandatory
Add tweezing eyebrows to the list of things not to do while on adderol....
Sent. All. My. Texts. Like. This. Last. Night. Thank. You. Weed. Also. Had. A. Dream. About. A. Serial. Killer. That. Killed. Everyone. Except. Me. And.
Randomize
