we were pretty classy up until the second keg
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
i'm not a hellocoptur, but youer in a dorm ans im un a dorm
The beers last night were like the tears from god
He's like a perfect storm of amazing hair and horrible judgment.
Can you explain to me how i got kicked out of a bar last night, from outside the bar?
If you're that baked in a class full of people that know you're that baked you tend to offer up a peace offering. Its like the burrito of trust! If eaten you are now obligated to help maintain my grades and keep me from falling out of my chair. $3.75 a morning is worth it for that mafia type protection!
It has become abundantly clear why you give me pixie stix when you're drunk now...
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
So if I get kidnapped from my office and go missing for a few days does that count against my vacation days and do I still get paid?
We're going to party like we don't have spanx on
There's nothing quite like having a little 8 year old boy hand me a Bible on campus while I'm on my way to the health center because of my recent slutty tendencies.
I'm all set for mothers day, I let her beat me in beer pong.
There's a guy running dressed as a bunny toward your house.
Dude is PACKING. And yes I am holding up a cross and holy water and hissing like a pissed off goose.
When I went to pick up Adam from the train station, I found him passed out, covered in gold paint and wrapped in a red blanket. someone had glued a gaudy green rhinestone to his forehead. He looked homeless.
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