So we were in the middle of hooking up when he stopped me. I thought he was having a moral dilemma about the whole having a girlfriend thing. But no. He got down on all fours, butt naked, and started throwing up and farting simultaneously. I took it as my cue to leave.
My eyes got the double whammy. Once with pepperspray from the riot the other with cum. Both of which i did nothing to deserve.
Also, I once came to the conclusion after this one boy, that her pleasure condoms are a college boys version of flowers
I remember saying "sorry" to the blunt before throwing it out the window
we're tailgating intramural basketball with hard drugs and tequila...and i think the players are taking shrooms
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
There are fucking limits. Jerking another guy off in the bar toes the line.
He ate me out on the kitchen floor while we waited for the cake to bake. How was your Valentines Day?
Thats why you dont have a "jubilant gunfire celebration"
Woke up this morning with an extra $35 and someone else's ATM receipt. How much did I drink last night?
it's just weird to think of you as a teacher since ive seen you throw up raspberry bacardi in my parents house
You would only karaoke to Spanish songs, but sang with the accent of the french candle stick in beauty and the beast.
The cops spotted my on my walk of shame down the boardwalk and gave me a ride home. I'm starting to make a name for myself here.
Of course i made out w him. He was painted green. You know of my secret longing for the Hulk.
At one point of the night i was standing at the bar and 3 of them had their hands down my pants, they were like thumb wrestling for it.
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