I sk at the spereo and my dad gave me and all access pass
what???
AN ALL ACCESS PASSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSSS
just went to get groceries. a cashier said she saw me last night. i guess i carried a broom back from the party and swept the street the whole walk back...and i claimed to be in the cast of wicked
Ohh god. I'm so nervous. This is terrible. He just introduced me as "the best girlfriend of his life" and Jenny as his "sexual roomate"
So many lesbians keep hitting on me. I'm about to give up and just go home with the manliest one.
Oh damn. God have mercy on everything w a dick in a ten mile radius.
there's a guy in the del taco parking lot doing pushups. let's be his friends
I found a fingernail in my vagina. A fingernail.
I bet he'd be real motivational during sex. And he'd probably make you call him superman.
Fuck away man. Like 3% of these new people will be back next week. This is the best week of the year to slam bitches at the gym.
I'm texting you the word "cockring" because I feel it hasn't been said enough throughout our friendship.
If it makes you feel any better... I have a friend who found out her mom was in the video for 2 Live Crew's "Pop That Pussy"
Walking out of the bathroom and not knowing you have hand soap on the front of your pants so it looks like you blew a load on yourself really sets the tone for the rest of the week...
Are sex swings allowed in dorms
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Its just akward. Everytime he tells me he loves me, I have to respond with, I love having sex with you. and he just stares at me in amazement
Randomize
