I wonder if there will ever be a day where I don't find lisps really really hilarious.
So what if i'm late to spanish tomorrow. who the hell cares. i don't even speak spanish.
Just saw the liqour store owner get into a mercedes, almost proud to be responsible for that
She threw up all over when she was giving me dome. Not even gonna lie, it felt really good.
we may have ended up at a gay bar on accident. we're gonna work this to get free drinks.
For a second, I wondered if I could smoke pizza.
All we did was argue about ponys and drug dealers
I just opened a bottle of wine with a shoe and a tube of mascara. Get on my level
I am particularly sorry about getting dome in your backseat. And for thinking you wouldn't notice.
She has an inverted nipple. She told to play with the normal one until the other one pops up.
I just had a contest with the toilet to see who could hold their breath longest.
I won
Omg I'm puking right now and then sneezed four times in a row. You don't know pain til this happens to you.
I'm drunk, we're losing, and I'm in the visitors stands. This is about to get ugly.
Sorry I yelled at you and called you Amish and puked on your eggs
I'm too drunk to make ramen. What the fuck is this.
Randomize
