I don't know what's more sad: The fact that he fingered the side of my leg, or the fact that the side of my leg feels like a vagina.
he told me it was because of the roids, but i couldn't tell if he meant ster or hem.
I want you to know that after i type the word "your" vagina is next on my predictive tex
And by the way, how is me getting head even remotely comparable to you fucking 3 guys?
my boyfriend just told me he used to have genital herpes. I was gonna have sex with him, but now it's SOOO over.
what kind of stupid fuck tells you that BEFORE sex? he is definitely not a keeper.
They call it the Collection Couch because all 4 room mates have slept with at least 3 different girls on it. He tried to seal the deal with "would you like to be number 14?"
And sadly I did.
Please tell me you are a size medium in men's clown onesies and that you forgot them here last night.....
He gave me a pearl necklace on top of my Karma necklace I was wearing. I guess I deserve whats coming to me.
I decided they need a food cart that just roams around the library like the cotton candy people at the circus. But with real food. like tacos cause it sounds delicious.
Synchronized big wheels back flips off the second floor roof. Good idea or great idea?
Jeff brought me a cup of coffee to my desk. He's getting a blow job.
cake and sex. what better combination is there.
Dude, he danced with the dog that some random chick was carrying at the bar. Then the dog jumped out of his arms and ran away. THAT definitely deserves a drink.
Do him. As soon as possible and as often as possible. That's what Oprah would say
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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