i was looking up hair salons in ithaca for the wedding and one is a hair salon/ sake bar! you can have sake or champagne while you get your hair done!
question, how would one sake-bomb while getting hair done without getting a horrible haircut?
He ripped my extensions out during sex, not noticing until this morning when he saw them on the floor. I told him they werent mine and he went and threw them in his sister's room.
I can't finish this paper in my room because every time I get distracted I start masterbating. I think it's time to go to the library...
I just saw a kid drop his lollipop on the floor of best buy, kick it because he was pissed off and then pick it up and eat it. I think I have a long lost son.
he fucked me so hard my future children felt it
Someones car got stolen, everyone is yelling, and im drunk just sayin yeah buddy over and over again
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
Dude. I realize why I got sick. 8 shots three beers in an hour. Plus I ate an expired lunchable earlier.
Woke up in her bed this morning with a half used condom stuck to the side of my face
How can a condom be "half used"?
I creeped him on fb. I'm about 90% sure I just blew him in the same tux he wore for his wedding..
Almost caused a huge accident on the highway because I was distracted by how orange the road barrels were
Yea it's also hard to turn down a man asking you out with a chicken sandwich.
she just kept straddling the railing to the stairs and shouting "come on Seabiscuit, lets win this for America."
I woke up under the stretchy sheet like the corners were still stuck under the bed. I had to wiggle the corners off in order to get up. I was trapped. how did that happen
Where do you think your fantastically immense lady-boner for men in uniform comes from?
Randomize
