Down for casual relationships, more fun than catholic missionary, bring condoms and don't get attached.
yeah that pretty much nipped itself in the bud when I realized i could see her whiteheads glowing in the blacklight
Silently passing ghastly beer farts as I move around the bridal department at Tiffany's. Call it my contribution to the holiday spirit.
Sure, fine. Daughter just told me she is not a virgin anymore. I am gonna start drinking now
Just found a "how to get laid" book on the dresser and am now a victim of method number 16 corollary 7.
i will see naked twins by the end of the night. that's all i know
I hear youre working today. To keep you entertained, ive compiled a list of condiments that my dick has NOT been slathered in since last Friday: Relish, and raspberry jam. That's right.
It's 10AM, she's drunk blaring veggie tales and I have a paper to write you've got to be fucking kidding me
I just looked at a girl and was like what disease does she have? And then my mind caught up ohhh shes pregnant.
so today, i decided to say "fuck it" to mental stability, take a klonopin and wear a blanket toga. New Girl is on Netflix, nothing could go wrong.
Im wearing a bra. Made of paint.
I don't want to inconvenience you with my dick\n\n
my gyno just used the expression "dick around." too far?
Decided to smoke a bowl in my closet while my parents are gone. Just sat in the closet because I couldn't remember how to get out. Started panicking cuz I thought they were gonna show up... Checked my phone. It's been 4 minutes.
U dont jog and buy condoms n bulk
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