I said I wanted my dignity back. He brought my thong to me after sharpie-ing "dignity" on the front. I'm not sure if I should me mad or impressed.
I fed him jelly beans while he fingered me. Win, win situation.
Hi, this is a test of the morning after apology broadcast system. If you're receiving this pre-recorded message there is a high probability I was a dickwad to you in the past 24 hours. You have my utmost and sincere apologies. Also if you have my wallet, house key, left converse, or lighter, give them/it back
Second time this week margarita night turned homoerotic
I don't remember where I was but I remembered that I hated everyone there
Got done with class, now I'm buying MD 2020 with the ex. Sure feels like college.
I refused to call him anything but Drake eyebrows all night.
Serious concern: will TSA confiscate my bondage rope?
And let me tell you, getting your ass waxed is the weirdest fucking experience.
I've had more orgasms than showers this week.
that moment you remember partying with someone several years ago.. and don't remember if you slept with them or not.
I haven't answered because I haven't figured out a polite way of saying fuck no
I woke up this morning to find my closet lacking 98% of my clothes and a text from my male roommate saying your dresses squeeze my genitals
Live it up bro, they're always so surprised to find out you use magnums, being such a tiny man and all. It's a good thing.
What's the weirdest place you've ever had sex?
I don't think you're psychologically prepared for this conversation.
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