Why did I call the Oregon Department of Transportation at 4:30 in the morning, and who did I talk to for three minutes?
We're pre-gaming then going to chuck e cheese's.
If you're joking I'm going to be sad
I just spent a chunk of my Christmas money on Plan B. I don't think that's what my relatives had mind when they said "spend it wisely", but hey, it was a good investment considering the bad life choices i made last night.
we just watched the ball drop on the spanish channel. best mistake of my life.
Ive created a fbook group called "threesome" and invited two girls. Im not going to say a word and just see what happens.
Please tell me you're throwing the cats into this foot of snow.
After 2 hrs of driving around looking for him, we just found him sleeping in the bed of my truck with the cover closed, cuddling with the spare tire.
He kept telling me that something was trying to enter this dimension from another universe through his spine...
I woke up naked, with the lights on, using my backpack as a pillow and a pillow as a blanket.
Got home last night and found a Big Mac in the shower, tampons all over the place, and two pairs of your panties on the front porch.
You were telling me last night 101 proof was nothing and you needed 400 proof or better yet military or marine proof, because you're marine grade.... You rascal.
I'm puking in a turkey pan....
YOUR DICK HAS BEEN IN ME I DO NOT WANT TO BE SET UP TO MEET YOUR FRIENDS
ANNA HAS DISCOVERED EROTIC FANFICTION OF SHARKNADO THIS IS NOT A DRILL
I’d feel the same about religion. We can talk about it, but I want you to go down on me first
Sooo does anyone wanna tell me why I threw up a cigarette this morning?
OMG YOU DID TO?!
Randomize
