the thought of Anne Coulter teabagging Dick Cheney kills me everytime.
just once id like to meet someone on craigslist who isnt fat
Seriously, stop peeing all over the toilet seat. It looks like movie theatre butter.
Dude just bought condoms some sad fuck next to me buying a pregnancy test he gave me a look like he'd pay me millions to switch places
Dude... Hand job in the lake... It was as weird as it sounds.
I havnt even moved into my new place yet and there's already a county sheriffs card taped to the door with my name on it asking me to call him
It's now 3:30 and the guy I went home with is showering me with shredded cheese. Nbd.
officially hit rock bottom.. been yelling through the vent in my room to my little brother trying to convince him to get me water for the past two hours. i fear feeling the full effect of my hangover if i stand.
doing laundry. just found my fishnets from Friday. the ENTIRE crotch is torn out. guess that answers the "did we have sex in the cab" question.....
You can't possibly imagine how much I miss you. At least I'll always have that hidden folder in my computer.
You had your dick do your apologizing for you last night. Apology accepted.
You don't put off sexcapades. Life lesson #1.
There are two guys's cum on my sheets. Be a man and be the third.
It's no longer hooking up, we have definitely graduated to Sport Fucking....
Let's put a bunch of beers in a backpack and shotgun them in a Red Lobster bathroom
Randomize
