I just passed on expense account drinking, this must be the worst hangover ever.
When black out puking doesn't involve crying and promises to never get drunk again... to just a subtle, 'excuse me while I go vomit in the bathroom of this bar'.. you know you've finally grown up.
My broken door handle makes it really inconvient for when i need to puke at red lights.
I told him I'd put in a good word. And the word of the day is: NEGATIVE
If I don't throw up the day I graduate i'll feel like the last 4 years and thousands of dollars spent on alcohol will have been wasted.
Rosemary is literally sitting on the ground holding on to the rug because she thinks she is going to fall if she lets go. We smoked way too much.
Hey, ok if I kidnap you? I wanna test a theory.
So because I'm off tomorrow that means your dick could be in my mouth majority of that time
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
He will be forever remembered as "birthday failure" ...Got him to pierce his tongue in my bathroom, but not sleep with me......
As long as you don't want to make a shrine out of my eyelashes It's all good
I hope you have irresponsible drunk insurance because you're about to pay a deductible
I think I gave the bachelor party directions to the breweries next to my dentist so that they could take me to my appointment and pick me up afterward...
It was like the icing on a beautiful fuck boy cake.
we're forecasting high levels of inebriation into the evening with dropping temperatures late at night
Randomize
