This old guy in denny's is sitting alone and he is looking at us and laughing for no reason
the entire time we were hooking up i couldn't stop thinking about the bengals. thoughts?
I can't lisssten to Lou Holtzsss ssspeak anymore
If you're missing hair this morning, i'm sorry in advance
Power hour was a bad idea. It turned into power 4 hours, then power puke. Then power sleep till 3.
Well besides you comparing him to your dead cat, I'd say it was fine.
He's single. I'm single. We should rekindle our eighth grade romance over a box of wine and carefree sex.
Just saw a dude walk out of the parking. Garage in a diaper and tutu. He had a handle in one hand and a toy bow in the other
LOL its 11 am
female sloths literally scream when they want sex and can be heard up to 700 meters away
i think i might be a female sloth
... Cuz there's nothing like having your two male roommates catching you have a good cry in the driveway at 9am on a Wednesday.
The funny part was that the cop pulled us over cause the park was closed, not because I had just come up from giving the guy a blowjob when the cop drove by.
Well I walked the wrong way for a little bit and I don't remember if I fell asleep or not but I definitely laid down under the over pass for a while
I know I'm high, but the dude in target definitely just told me that it's best to walk through every door in life like you're a t-rex....
I didn't wake up drunk this year...I must be getting soft
Yeah I guess quad-fisting Miller Lites just isn't as effective as it used to be
Fuck him. He can bang that skeezer all he wants. Fuck her lawyerness I’m a YouTube star
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