Nob stitches i do do not bleed anymorr!
Do you have any idea how hard it is to cum to Chingy?!
that wasn't rum that I poured down your throat while you were sleeping
Mango bong: no go. Guava bong: sweet flaming buddha it was delicious. I shall teach you the ways of tropical fruit trees.
I just stood up and am wasted. I think I just admitted to my mom that I am trying to fuck everyone in New York because they're skinny and ethnically ambiguous. Meanwhile, happy hour isn't over yet.
Is singing the Indiana Jones theme while I put on the condom off limits?
I'm not the one who can lose their erection, so it's fair game
She sprained her ankle last night trying to flash me.
I can't wait to see you again...not a euphemism, just really looking forward to seeing you. Wanting to fuck you as often as possible just seems implied at this point.
Nope. I've found you care about two things in life: your momma and spreading your seed.
I'm gonna eat more dunkaroos to cope with what's in my vagina.
Actually here it's more "lie around naked in a dark room" weather.
Sooo I ended up ugly crying at the drive thru window at 10 pm last night....how was your valentine's day?
Well what did you order
I started keeping track of my period when I realized you had a better grasp of it than me.
Dude. All I know is that I woke up on the floor with two naked chicks who don't speak English.
Clutch
you poured beer in your mouth so you could be a beer pong cup for her to drink out of/make out with
Did it work?
Randomize
