Wow senior week shows you new things about yourself
Is this the I'm gay speech?
There's a guy at this party taking all the unfinised beers and pouring them into a pitcher so he can drink them tomorrow.
The preggo girl brought her pet chipmunk to class today. fyi.
you know, even black out drunk I can always remember the exact point where I should have stopped drinking.
My heart is having a hard time convincing my vagina he's not worth it.
98% is good enough for me. Kinda like birth control. Worth the risk
The cops said we could pay $250 or spend the night in jail and get 2 free meals. I might pee in mail-boxes more often
I'm stoned and just shared 4 cookies with this chicks dog
They're raisins though so they're healthy. No worries.
for the record, you never really realize how drunk you still are until you get on rollerskates...
Im officially canceling McCormick Monday. I got a raise.
Sooo grey goose Tuesday?????
I woke up in my living room, on the floor, wearing nothing but a fur coat?
I'm jealous that you can use my boobs as pillows & I can't.
You just gave me the title for the series of our lives. Haha. Chapter 12: the cocaine on the back of the hairbrush
Bring me pizza. I'll trade you your underwear you left here for 2 slices.
Its not that hard to understand he's my holiday boyfriend, we ignore each other most of the year except on holidays when I give him head
Randomize
