Damn. That makes sense
I know im like the sherlok holmes of sexual problems
Whenever I'm sad I just imagine if babies were born with mustaches...
Just spent 45mins blow drying a joint i dropped in a beer....i felt like i dropped his infant child....
I just watched my mom open a wine bottle with an electric drill. I have never been so proud.
Things are going great. I have tons of beer, margaritas, and theres an inflatable swan in the mix.
he told me that my best friend was "one the most attractive people he's ever seen" and wondered why he didn't get a blow job
she puked as i came inside her. that has to mean something.
Oh god. It's like a broken faucet. My guts sound like a bilge pump clogged with golf balls and cake frosting.
I'm in the power napping at parties stage of my life
Im eating a cannibus peanut butter and jelly sandwich, while snuggling a stuffed animal. Either this flu is really really harsh or I'm some kind of stoner toddler
Seriously. We gorilla glued our hands together. Eating pizza last night was impossible.
At what point in life does one make the conscious decision to incorporate capes into everyday life? Like, as a fashion statement?
I'm not sure how to answer that. Is it a general question or one you're wondering about for yourself? Because I don't think you're there yet.
It's pretty telling that my resolutions all involve who I will sleep with in 2014.
It's important to play to your strengths.
I just started an apology with "so I'm sorry about throwing the Brita at your head last night..."
Just told my mom life fisted my asshole. She looked at me with complete understanding. I'm scared...
Randomize
