8th day he invented the big mac, 9th he invented pop rocks, 10th day boobs.
she makes me feel like im THAT guy in the taylor swift song
Is it bad that your cum tickles when I swallow it?
I took my pants off in the cab and tried to bite his ear. Not going oout for awhile
Just picture a bunch of Abraham Lincolns having an orgy.
Please call me back as soon as your phone is charged, if you die tonight I don't want the last thing I said to you to be "I just farted a little"
When my alarm went off, he rolled over and asked me: Bacon or dick? Yes, I will see him again.
I was in the freezer we were knocking over shit. Speaking of which i asked my boss. I can hook up with girls in the freezer
Yeah just sayin. Whenever you want to come over and wank me off you can
They called it unicorn pee, and i thought that was interesting so i drank it. Please don't let me drink strangers booze again.
You said dick pics aren't attractive
Random ones, from strangers, no. But a beautiful penis I know and love, absolutely :3
You literally chaperoned my booty call.
He's getting so into these sexts, I hate to tell him I'm fully clothes, watching Bring It On and eating chips and salsa.
I said I wanted pizza tattoo on my ass and the tattooist asked me what I wanted on it.
She was riding me and giving me score updates to the basketball game at the same time..... Shes a keeper
he tied his pants around my leg to stop the bleeding... i think he just wanted a good excuse to take his pants off
well did it work?
it was a success in both ways.
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