Can we talk about the cons of throwing up in the bathtub. there are no pros.
Tonight's Jeopardy categories were "Star Trek, Action Figures, Dinner For One, In Need of a Date, Still Living With Mom & Dad, You Have No Life." Beginning to think my life is the Truman Show.
im just gonna turn drinking alone on new years into a tradition
That's a really weird place to spoon. Especially if there are more accessible places to spoon. Like a bathtub.
Aqua-barf. When you are about to puke in the toilet but pass out face first instead...and then puke. WITH YOUR FACE IN THE BOWL. There is no escaping the puke ring you have on your face. I know first hand.
I went from innocently day drinking to waking up handcuffed in jail. Fuck you game days
No im just getting a road beer. You got my pants?
Pro: she asked me to be a bridesmaid. Con: i only have about nine months to get over a phobia of midget strippers.
I saw a groundgog last night outside my back door. I now have a new wedding gift idea.
THEIR PENISES MATCH. I JUST REALISED THAT. THEY HAVE IDENTICAL DICKS. OH GOD.
My serious response to your Cathy tattoo inquiry- Do you ever want to get laid by someone not wearing a Blossom style bucket hat? Tattoo accordingly.
So we stayed at his mom's and all got drunk and he and I hooked up in his old bedroom. Then his drunk mom came in and tackled us when we were still naked. Why does this keep happening to me?
Dude my pants were only on for 20 minutes after she got there.
That's 30 minutes too many.
She's sent me the same nudes using the same gestures and positions... It's like she has a template for her sluty-ness
I feel fine lol. I tried climbing a tree but the branch broke and I got arrested.
Randomize