And my dad told him he was a great looking guy. and then added "no homo" after.
The more I sober up, the more sick I am/realize how weird dancing around a wine bottle was
Never drink rum straight from the bottle, even if people say it'll make you a pirate. It won't: it'll make you a bumbling shitfaced idiot who just drank rum straight from the bottle.
Yes, I am watching The Hills Have Thighs. And yes it is a porno remake of The Hills Have Eyes. And, again, yes, lesbian sex in the desert. Get the sand out.
I don't know what he sees in her. All I see are horrible pancake nipples
I didn't even realize you were getting that drunk until bam!
is bam when I fell down the stairs or when I threw up standing at the bar?
2 more and I will have fucked 75 percent of my acting class. best. elective. ever.
I can't believe I've come to a point in my life where sex for a birthday present is acceptable
she visited to give me a bj between clients. Social work at its finest.
Robert just walked in drunk, grabbed my Jameson from me, told me to let him do his thing, and spilled it all over the coffee table. Then he told me to grab a funnel because he was going home.
It was at the same house, but a different party, when lesbians set me on fire. So there's that.
She asked the bartender for "7 shots of something fruity" and long story short the bartender punched me in the face. Chivalry is stupid.
COKE WAS NOT ON THE ITINERARY FOR TONIGHT.
We just had sex in the shed while having a conversation about cheeseburgers...so that's how my day is going
Are you serious?! She sent a pizza instead of showing up?!
She did indeed. Papa Johns. It helped because I was super hangry. That bitch is smart!
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