you're drinking in the law library????
...not a bad idea....
probably not a good idea either.
i wish everyone could be as happy as the people in the laxative commericals
I found your dream girl. She looked 11 but drove and on her key chain it said "if i am not wasted the day is"
found a new level of pathetic. i watched a guy pick out cigarette butts from a jar that weren't completely finished. make sure you go somewhere in life.
I had a new years resolution not to be a whore anymore, but I think I'm gonna wait till 2011
For future reference, a lint roller appears to be the easiest way to get glitter out of a beard.
Just saw the first guy I gave head to lose in the french open...some how I feel better that my mistake made it to the same mistake as our relationship, the third round. Don't judge.
You told me when we were leaving the club if I could pin point your nipple through your padded bra you would show me if I was right.
Just realized how sopa could affect my ability to watch porn, son of a bitch
Fuck you, if it wasn't for us going to the city, she would be using me as a human sex toy all day.
There's like a dolphin trainer convention here or something. I will parlay this trip to Vegas into riding Shamu if its the last thing I do.
We were so sore from having sex that we decided to fix it with more sex. It's the hair of the dog for sex hangover.
Is a coke binge Whole30 approved?
My neck is sore from all the headbanging. And I can't tell the difference between the jello stains and cum stains.
Nothing cures your heart after a boy calling you unattractive than a big fat dick
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