Seriously, I'd take them all over any of the milfs here...and you know how much that means coming from me
We started making out, then he decided to get naked, put on a condom, and proceed to dry hump my leg, sweat pants and all, until he blew his load. I thought this was college. I immediatly left claiming I can't sleep in other people's rooms. He didn't even bother taking off my hoodie.
what did you hear about me?
that you are a very nice girl and a pleasure to be around
that was hard to say and not laugh
I feel like I should put "don't judge me" in the special instructions for the pizza guy.
Way too hungover to be taking this many family pictures
He called the drink "The Annexation of Puerto Rico". He wouldn't tell us whats in it but said that we should all fear for our lives. Let's do this.
using blue streamers we found on the bathroom floor was probably not the best substitute for toilet paper.
By the third Id pass back i figured the bouncer had fucked one of us.
I was changing in front of my window and my neighbor text me saying, "nice pubes."
I just want to be able to run around naked and eat grass with no judgments and have people feed me and expect me to sleep all the time.
He was Jesus for Halloween and I definitely got on my knees and gave him praise.
It turned from Netflix and chill to cringeworthy YouTube videos and chill. At least he's honest.
You can call me ugly and you can call me fat,but don't you EVER say my meme game is weak.
Saw a sign that said the chorus of never gonna give you up was enough time to wash your hands. Coronavirus has Rick rolled me.
I’ve got a closet full of cosplay outfits and horny boytoy to help me ride out this pandemic
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