Dude ... paraplegic porn is really creative..
You just took 4 shots. 2 of them were maple syrup.
I was really stoned haha. I had sex with her while I cooked scrambled eggs.
I really resent how she stayed home and ruined my plans to watch sci-fi and masturbate.
Sushi was just eaten off my naked body. I feel like I can die in peace now.
He shattered his pelvis base jumping so his dicks out of commission for 4 months. Your up, second string.
my vag sweat smells like doritos
so now that we're not dating you have to stop sending shit like this to me okay?
Guy fieri is speaking only to me. We make eye contact. My whole body is vibrating. My head is purring. I am literally marbles.
I'm gonna have to kick a girl scouts ass...
I'd just like to inform you. That when I was at bvj the first day I was blackout drunk by noon. Get on past Chelsea's level like now. Do it for present Chelsea
I butt dialed her mom while cheating on her. Needless to say Christmas will be awkward.
I'm no doctor but I don't think balls are supposed to look like that.
This morning, I found 5 naked people in Steve's bed with post sex hair, and Steve fully clothed sleeping on the ground.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
Is it ok to bone a former patient who is also a client? Since it is two negatives does that cancel and become a positive?
Randomize
