Can we progress our friendship to a point where i'm at least granted a blowjob allowance?
Every time I hit my bowl my neighbors set off fireworks... I stop, they stop. I start again, they start again. Too high for this.
A good ear swabbing is more orgasmic than sex with him
He looks like the kind of guy that would jack off to weird things.
I lost count after the 4th body shot but I think I'm wearing at least 3 different peoples clothes.
Golf group in front of us has 2 hooker caddies. One guy was getting a lap dance as he waited to tee off. Only in vegas.
This weekend has taught me that sometimes, being buried under a mattress is the safest place in the room.
Also, am I the only one who noticed he didn't fuck you until after you were technically a cripple? Or am I reading into this too much? Congrats on that btw
Totally shot down my boss for sex today. Approaching this weekend with a clear conscience and an untouched vagina.
She's going to be the first to die of too much illness. Not even super bad stuff like cancer but like for having a cold at the same time as a sore throat and chlamydia or something. Just too much diseases.
I mean I'm not saying I have my life together but I did just put nerds in a bottle of champagne and then drank from the bottle
I'm daydrinking whiskey in a princess hat
I may quit my job to go be a costumed Jedi at Disneyland.
I'm asking you this because you're my dad....is coke a drug I should try?
On cleanup... i've counted 94 solo cups so far.. oh, and i found a miniature top hat in the microwave
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