The two bassists just totally made out. I NEED MENNA'S RIGHT now.
I just saw that your im name has '4eva' in it. Your man card has been revoked.
I want to drop kick Stephanie Meyer
you spelled her name wrong
not you too!!
i havent thrown up in four monthes, im clearly not drinking enough
is 69 when you're sideways or up & down? I was on my back & confused.
I deem it safe for us to drink together again.
They dropped the charges?
Yeppers. Come drink beers.
I feel like death gave me a hand job
Did you Fuck minivan and her friend last night?
If you're not peeing in public bi-monthly, you're not really living.
I'm pretty sure that I drunkenly used the phrase "I just want his beard all over my body" way too many times last night.
Instead of asking him how many women he's slept with I just got straight to the point and asked how many Plan B pills he's purchased
My one night stand asked me out to dinner. When he came to pick me up I got in the back seat. I thought he sent an uber. Awkward.
Did you smoke and go to the aquarium again?
This is a mass text. Who in the hell shat on my stairs last night?
Imp drunk. It'd free popcorn tuedday I love life.
Randomize
