I almost hooked up with this girl last night. she had a tattoo of a cardinal next to her cooter. said it reminded her of her grandpa
I think im pregnant
I think you have the wrong number
bailing my boss out of jail is a great way to spend memorial day
What sexual position says im sorry for your loss?
The bartender was shocked when I took the mop bucket from him and told him I'd take care of my friends puke.
He leaned off the deck, puked a waterfall of beer, looked back at everyone and said "it was just a burp".
My phone just autocorrected 'vagina' to 'vaginihilation'...when exactly did I need to convey total annihilation by lady parts??
Come to the roof. We are drinking breakfast.
i just deleted him from my phone. and yes... I did just text you this from less than 20 feet away.
I'm not judging.. I sure as hell am not getting out of my bed to come talk to you about this. but i support your decision
I woke up naked and only wearing cowboy boots, wrapped in a curtain that was still attached to the pole
You're like the Miss Manners of anonymous gay sex.
i just drunk stumbled into my home... to figure out that we moved 2 weeks ago..
That wasn't even sex. That was a fuckoning
...did you just create a word for what we did?
it was weird going down on him. His picture of Jesus was staring at me the entire time...
i dont know how or why im in the gym right now, but theres a hot cop, a guy i hook up with, and his hot friend. this can only lead to every fantasy i ever had.
Randomize
