Theyre still fighting about whether its called america or the united states.
Yeah. I hotboxed a windbreaker.
so looking at the guys i've dated i feel my vag is a halfway house
I'm driving behind a lime green VW that has "Seniors '10!" shoe polished on the rear window. i haven't even seen her yet, but I do have a boner.
im laying here in the parking lot drinking a warm coke, prob still drunk, feeling like i need to apologize to everyone i know
Apparently I whispered "Jesus was here" and bailed out of the moving taxi.
I can't wait for you to see these terrible photos I'm about to have taken with some stripper looking girls. I don't know what this photographer is thinking
my mom found me passed out in the kitchen floor with the Brita pitcher.. Happy Mothers Day
If you make 120 dollars and I walk instd of drive and don't eat or smoke this week we can pay rent
He's living a porn movie. He's slept with a waitress at her work for lunch, a bar tender at the bar that night, and the cleaning lady the next morning.
When asked if they had been introduced, Damo said "No but I know we've pretty much fucked all the same girls in town"
Just fucked a MILF from Alaska. I love traveling.
I had a really bad dream about us drinking this weekend. Remind me to tell you Friday when we start drinking
Sorry I twat blocked you earlier I didn't know Sam was over. But, my house my rules, I don't have to knock before I enter. I did see naked butts and smelt "Sex Stank" in the air, we're going to have to set some ground rules when I get home. Hugs and kisses..Mom
I need a sign that says “please don’t make plans with me if I’ve had two or more drinks. I will regret them. I will have bitter feelings towards you. Then I will cancel and feel guilty.”
Randomize
