whjeg hajt iyt
say what?
wanna hang out?
Five girls, one freshman pledge. We're like our own Make A Wish Foundation.
Who would have thought the night we were surrounded by 4 cops would be the most responsible night of the week.
she gave me a handjob in the middle of the night and my stomach growled so she walked out totally naked and came back 5 minutes later with two sandwiches. who the fuck says getting married is awful?
who knew that if you vomit while skydiving the puke goes up towards the people that are behind you.
Although I wish I was out drinking, this cough syrup has me slightly more optimistic than usual.. I heavily debating trying to find mystical creatures and selling them to rich people as pets
Jus saw ur date getting a bj in the mcdonalds parking lot...u want anything?
The things happening in my intestines right now should only ever happen at truck stops and frat houses.
dude i'm so hungover my hair hurts
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
You lit a fire in my vagina no man can extinguish.
Don't judge me 👊🏼 his dick just whispers my name
How exactly does a handjob become fancy?
Blueberry lube, and champagne.
She pinched my nipples too hard I THINK THEYRE GONE
I TOLD YOU ABOUT GOTH CHICKS BRO. I WARNED YOU
She shouldn’t care what consenting adults do behind closed doors
You do realize it was her husband you were hooking up with behind that door, right?
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