The human being growing inside of her was a mistake. Lets just hope the boyfriend isn't.
like if someone fucked a dictionary but instead of having a penis, it was just one of those leap frog educational toys
I hope to god you are high
I am going to invent a chocolate mix for sperm.
I heard Topanga got a DUI. I need that mugshot asap.
When you get home we need to compare our schedules and set up masturbation slots. I'm scares of you walking in on me. Again.
You said you didn't want to drink anymore so you started shooting vodka down the back of your throat using a syringe. Oh, and then you aimed it at my eye ball...vodka in the eye hurts btw.
Just did a keg stand the dropped my phone in the toilet. Sorry for partying.
You did a keg stand on the toilet?!
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
That bar is one yeast infection away from total annihilation.
I got tossed from adult league soccer for telling a 55 year old I'd break his hip. I'm a productive member of society
There is a direct correlation between gooch size and male fertility. Science.
I found a video of us drunkenly yelling "we wanna be the Pope" as we passed around the blunt
I have 13 missed calls from when I slept outside on some rocks
answer honestly do you think i can make a bloody mary with ketchup????
The career specialist read an Onion article to us. Please send help.
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