My cock was attacked by outdoor plants
she sang that "this little piggy song" to my balls. and somehow made it work, with me only having two balls instead of five.
It was like a little tadpole swimming in the big ocean.
it's circumsized.
I think this conversation is over.
So I told her I dislocated my shoulder and she said "well okay. I can either be on top or blow you."
Decisions, decisions.
But you can still look for dick after you find Jesus.
We can't tell anyone we fucked because I'm still trying to get with your friend. Is she coming next weekend?
Dude I sat in the corner of the party bobbing my head and singing danger zone
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
I watched Morgan Freeman explain the existence of nothing, now I'm afraid of sub - atomic particles. these egg rolls are outstanding
God, please protect all woman from micro-penises
I don't know if I want to fuck him or punch him in the face.
She had never heard the term "grundle" before. Classiest girl I've met in months
It's 1am and I'm on LSD and I have diarrhea in a Dunkin Donuts. Help me
there's a giant awkward home-wrecking elephant in the room. and its name is meg.
Randomize
