you said youd get me home safely, you dropped me off at 9:30 last night and i just woke up on my porch.
I have show me your genitals stuck in my head. Except in spanish. Muestrame tus genitals. Tus genitals.
he looked like jesus. just the kind of jesus i would have sex with.
I literally ate my thanksgiving dinner while getting a lapdance. And honestly, after that, there is no other way.
Cops do not care. One just laughed and said "precious"
Dnt forget 40 tuesday,dress nice! Like job interview nice, like funeral nice, like a couple muhfuckas sittin on their lawn drinkin forties on a tuesday nice!
I swear to God, if you drunkenly correct my grammar one more time, I'm cutting you off.
She's trying to put on her dog muzzle on her self
I was late because I helped this old romanian lady mow her lawn at 2AM.
Can you send me the pictures of me riding the penis
I woke up to Elf. I don't know which one of you put that in my DVD player when I passed out but I appreciate you.
Don't do anything I wouldn't do. Thankfully for you that list does not include male models.
Naked. Naked is my favorite color.
So then I got so stoned I sat and took my pulse for 10 minutes.
There will be plenty of opportunity for me to sexualize Mike via VenMo.
Randomize
