Why don't you ever send me any naked pics
i am watching brooke knows best right now and hulk is totally dating his daughter's look a like. it is gross and disturbing.
the most pressuring question is, why are you watching brooke knows best?.
Oh no. He has the "I'm 30 years old and I just shit myself in public" face.
my boss said she was surprised to see me this morning. i told her there's a time in a girls life she has to give up day drinking in order to make money for next weekend's alcohol. she looked so proud, i think i might get a raise.
Dude i think i got lasagna in my eye
Handicvap rails on the toilet atre soooooo fuckin handy right nmow.
Girl we've come a long way since our first Brazilian wax
It feels like you stuck your dick in a fire and then branded the inside of me.
I'm sorry I came to your house drunk and fed pizza to your dog.
As I came the Sportcenter app played that "dah nuh nuh" chime. Top ten life highlight?
So apparently having sex with your co-worker in the bathroom at the staff party can get you fired.
My cat just tried to lay on my stomach while I was masturbating. And I let her because I am so starved for affection.
Do you remember when you first moved into my parents house with me and we came home to find that my dad bolted the headboard to the wall
Is it too far to say to someone "you're useless for everything besides sex"
You talk the same way I hallucinate.
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