She said I could do whatever I wanted to her. I pumped for 20 seconds, apologized, rolled over and passed out. I sit directly across from her at work. Awkward?
Avril Lavigne as a judge on Idol wearing devil ears. it's like every boner you ever had in 2002 just came true.
I'm really sorry we tried to have sex on top of you last night.
dizzyuy bat. 3.453 lkos. hoit sx, now im single. blackouteed
I think god is proud of me so he is rewarding me in discounted wine
yes, i was eatting raw cookie dough and fingering myself at the same time.... is there a problem?
He told me he wanted to sleep but I touched his penis and listened to his heart beat start racing. I knew sleeping was bullshit.
Use your nursing skills for good, not evil.
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Happy cinco de mayo!! Puke filled sombrero in the lawn needs to be picked up and whos never punched my fence boards in half needs to replace those by the way the owner of those panties (see attached photo) anytime you wanna cum over;-) hiii!
I got to see a stripper that did magic last night. It was glorious.
The last time I've felt a woman's touch, the twin towers were compromised. You can wait like one week
I swear you won't find cereal in your washer machine again.
Oh my god I found my bf's erotica
OH MY GOD HE WROTE THIS EROTICA.
OH MY GOD THIS IS GOOD EROTICA.
I hate how she's getting mean with age
Meh, you can't hate. That's our basic life goal and you know it.
Man, it's really obvious that I was either handcuffed or tied up last night. Either way, not something you'd want coworkers knowing.
Randomize
