Is it normal to miss your booty call?
your profile still reads that you like women...interesting? I think there is some photography and video that will show otherwise
Note to self: never go down on a girl first thing in the morning…its like opening a grilled cheese sandwich
You know you hit rock bottom when you make out with a guy named after a cereal.
Somewhere at this very moment, a group of drunk white girls are singing dont stop believing.
Dammit. I drunkenly drank all my milk at 6 AM in a misguided stupor to prevent my roommates from stealing my milk.
next time we drink: battle shots.
battle shots or battle shits? if its the first, explain. if its the second I think I figured it out.
I was out with the drag queens until 7am. This is the hangover I needed to kick my ass back to sobriety. Dear Virgin Mary, fuck my life.
My main goal for tomorrow night is to make it back into my own bed
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
Do they mail horrible human being awards or do I have to pick it up or what's the protocol on that shit
I called my mom while I was blackout drunk, and told her I was drunk, safe, and happy. But really, I was just drunk.
I just had the polyamorous Canadian hockey player do the splits while naked in a handstand at my apartment just now. And yes, I know it’s 1:30am on a Thursday.
i ate pretzels. i might be the first human to be hospitalized from pretzels. that's how bad this is.
Vagina status: the swelling is going down.
Randomize
