I feel like ignoring a facebook event is a lot like a pocket-veto. The only difference is instead of opposing legislation, I don't want to go to your sketchy party.
That girl's pussy is like White Castles, you crave it once in awhile, but you know next morning you regret eating it.
its 9am. i just got home. spent 6 hours blowing him in a closet last night
Too drunk to talk to museum staff. So much for proper wednesdays
I believe nudity is frowned upon at that establishment
I'm at the point where I'm more upset that he got to keep my bottle of Fireball than that he stopped talking to me with no explanation
You meet the best people naked in a hot tub at 2 am.
I just sent a snapchat of my boobs for Adderall. It's finals season.
Also, there's definitely not a non-hilarious way to ask to stick something up your butt.
Woke up with an entire pizza face down in my bed beside me... untouched. Never beer bong a whole bottle of wine.
Just paid for birth control in all ones do you think she is judging me?
i dunno dude, he took his shirt off and is rubbing jello shots on himself. i think he's done
if anyone breaks out the olive oil & slip n slide, text me 911.
I have a cheeseburger in my purse and im going to fill her prescription for narcotics. Who thought i was responsible enough to sign her discharge papers?
You laid on the floor and pet their rug. and then demanded Voss water.
Randomize
