I only want to know people that are dynamic intelligent and totally insane
i woke up with my moms heels on underneath your couch cushions
you want 1 or 2 eggos?
too bad they don't have a 'people you may be able to do' thing on facebook. it would save me a lot of fucking time.
so we were pounding it out and someone knocked on the wall and was shouting at us
that didnt stop you
nope
dude. how can brian from family drink at fucking bars? he's a dog and definitaly doesn't have pockets.
we should probably just go check in at the police station right now
my taxi driver is listening to 50 shades of grey audiobook. this is uncomfortable.
You would be so proud at how green we're being. Re-using last night's jello shot containers.. saving the world one step at a time
Also my roomates are going to be gone till sunday. Make correct decision here
Quit calling your parents your roomates
I was trying to sext but got a notification that my dad and professor both commented on my Facebook photo. Bad timing.
I kept falling all over the place and yelled at the bouncer you can't kick me out I'm from Texas.
please god let this picture I just uploaded not have my vagina in it
Hope you’re getting action boo.
Definitely no. I woke up next to a bag of McDonald's.
You know shits really hit the fan when you start using public bathroom air freshener spray as perfume
what? where are you?
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
Randomize
