the shit that comes out of a woman's mouth when she knows you can't hit her is fucking unbelieveable
addddeeerrraaaallll.
ok i'm not sure if that was a success statement or a cry for help.
Last night you told her she was rocking the beer gut. Still wondering why you have that black eye?
Life is so much better after having sex.
how did you get vomit on both your shoulders. I mean think about it.
you are getting stockholm syndrome from your pubes
eggs and jello shots do not qualify as 'brunch'
Also, as my manager i'm going to put you in charge of making sure i don't drown.
I know he is still a student. I am not asking if his being an underwear model makes it more ethical, just less prosocutable.
Bro, you're like, my right testicle. Can't go anywhere without you.
Today is a shit your pants at work kinda day
oh my god you are days, if not hours away from a dick pic. This is the day the lord has made rejoice and be glad in it
You used a fucking bud light like as lube last night. I'd get a UTI test like stat.
Thanks to you I can't show my boobs tomorrow for the interview.
You came in wearing a whipped cream bikini what did you think would happen
Truth. Though I have held steadfast to the notion while the rest of you wavered. I had faith in his homosexuality.
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