mmm whisky
reminds me of losing my job
they just did a mariachi cover of free bird
i have a food baby... i think its a boy...
i just remember sitting on this bed, naked, STILL WITH A CONDOM ON, and suddenly these random girls were in the room shouting at me
I think I'm going to make a pina klonopin before class.
It's only 8pm and Karl already got a stripper fired.
You are softly singing to the wall while slow dancing with it. I feel as though you should discontinue this behavior.
I only see on penis in this picture but I assume there is another lurking out of sight.
All the party invite said was a date and "21 to drink, 18ish to sleep over"
This is the beginning of the end. Testicle Tuesdays and free ball Friday are going to scar people for life
Dude that picute of your balls will haunt my nightmares
he was spending his time trying to use emojis to court a 19 year old, I can’t really take that seriously no matter how hot a dude is
Never let your siblings swipe right.
we are currently pregaming for our walk to the liquor store.
step one: admitting you have a problem. complete.
I just went to cvs and bought condoms, handcuffs and a coloring book
Something is wrong here. The birds are chirping and I'm not fucking you, I'm not getting head and I don't smell bacon. Why am I up this early then?
Randomize
