OMg patrick swayze is the sexuest man he is killing me I'm gonna get dehydrated if I don't stop looking at him
It's like sexual therapy. We hooked up. And now were talking about our recent breakups.
Emoooo
....ANDDD I just became confused during sexting and sent my mother a text describing a "porno-worthy cum shot."
Thought I woke up to a girl giving me a handy. It was a male nurse inserting a catheter.
Totally forgot this... How weird was it when they were licking our faces
I apparently texted him "since you're taking time out to think about us. You probably need to think about me getting arrested right now."
he told her to call him "Frog Legs" and she still fucked him and not you.
i wish you were under my bed. you sexy russian fur trapper.
please. text the right number. youve been sending me these all night.
Nothing like playing hide and seek with a state patrol officer early in the morning to get your heart rate up.
Ran out of eye drops right after putting them in one eye. Half baked at work.
I used my dress as a plate for pizza rolls last night
You have a penis. Therefore everything you say is automatically wrong.
Do you know how difficult it is to masturbate with Christmas carols stuck in your head?!
Sorry you uh had to see that last night. That's the problem with open fields, no privacy...
Hey! Its not the first time I've been eaten out in a bridesmaids dress in a church by a groomsman!
Randomize
