ur plase or mine? lol
well if you don't learn how to spell, you may be at your place and I'll be at mine.
so im decorating easter eggs with my family and my mom is writing "Jesus is risen" and "God loves you!" on the eggs. i wrote things like "I'm naked!" and "there are drugs in these eggs!" on mine.
I'm in new territory... I've never had to convince a guy to let me give him head as an apology.
I slept face down in the dirt because I wanted to go camping?
She deep throated me and when I woke up she made me pizza. I was full of emotions I started to cry.
1 in 5 deaths i nrussia is alcohol related. GO MOTHERLAND
You guys crashed sarahs vespa into a snowbank and its still there. not cool.
We got jeff a deep fryer for his bday. So far the count is two potatoes and your iPod.
I'm not sure what happened last night but I woke up next to him and I was wearing nothing but my grandpa's diabetic socks, so I'm letting that fill in the blanks.
Dude id rather jerk off w a fist full of bee's than deal with that girl that never stops talking.
They should just send me home - I'm literally doing nothing but watching porn and listening to pandora.
the amount of times i have been intoxicated, barefoot, and in a robe at 3 am at the quick check by your house is impressive, especially since i live an hour away
I saw a spider on my bed and my first reaction was to throw my weed bag to safety
We were getting breakfast he shit himself in the middle of ihop. Mid bite he just yells out o fuck.
I love him about as much as I'd love fucking myself with a cactus.
Randomize
