winter break is gonna be like a weird mixture of rehab fat camp and holiday cheer.
That's the last time we joust in Radio Flyer wagons after margarita night.
yup. cregs moms pubic hair is still glued to the celing
It's safe to say that our attempt at trying to fuck in the grand Sierra elevator was a bad idea.
I woke up in bed alone w 2 bite marks on my boob... Salt and pepper shakers In my purse along w a bottle of steak sauce.... The drunkasauraus has struck again
I think online classes were designed around the concept of day drinking.
No, man, we stole the housekeeper's key and we're just going room to room raiding mini fridges. Hurry
Logan has the vodka and snickers. We're making a run for it. Room 302
ASS. GYMANSTICS. OLYMPICS. NOW!!!
I'm giving you an age limit on the people you're allowed to hit on at steak n shake at 3 am. I can't see straight and I want a cheeseburger. You want dick. I'm sure we can't order at least one of those. But maybe.
i keep seeing little orange spots im starting to freak out
you tried mixing adderall in your visine last night..
Yeah I'd rather get obliterated at home.
Same here. I'd like to ensure that I won't get pissed on.
and it's like......my shirt is off and he's talking about quidditch. why.
He was tripping his balls off and kept aggressively saying SIT ON MY FACE. 5 hours and countless orgasms later I've decided I must never let this man go.
Hi,\n\nYou left your underwear in my Uber. Thanks and bye.
enjoying your night?
do dogs like to salsa?
I dont know if that answers my question or not
Randomize
