Just wanted to let you know that if you need my services as a male dancer for his birthday, let me kno so I can clear my schedule
Im starting to think including a smiley face in texts may or may not be a code for 'lets have sex'
Im going to research this theory. . .
My dick has been asking about u. He said he didn't do anything wrong n I'm a dumbass
he then proceeded to tear down my curtains, wrap them around his waist, and use the rod as his "rod"... you tell me how drunk he is...
they esentially rejected my mermaid threesome offer:(
By the way I peed in a mug last night cause you were in the bathroom and im pretty sure it is still in the kitchen.
I sewed up my pants, stole his girlfriends white shirt, and went to work hungover like a responsible adult.
So he just rolled you off his dick and fell on the floor?
Let's be honest, I am pretty sketchy looking.
Let's FaceTime each other while we shotgun beers
In reference to the club we were headed to our cab driver told us about the time he had sex with a woman on the dance floor there. And what do you know, they're celebrating their 22 marriage anniversary together this year! True love does exist!
How did I get the fat lip, while puking I may or may not have sneezed... Wacking my face into the toilet bowl...
Success! We fucked roommates!
beach body workouts will consist of dancing and cocaine, and sugar free redbull
A guy just threw up in my lecture of 500 ppl and just got up and walked away
Randomize
