She's JV to your varsity
I wrote a list of all my homework due in the next few weeks. I feel I've done enough for tonight.
Crisis Situation. How do you have that "we probably shouldn't make out tonight cause i've got an oral herpes outbreak coming on" conversation on a third date.
Just described your amazing cock to a complete stranger. I am officially the worst wingman (chick) ever.
Why is my drynk life bleeding into my real life
On a scale of 1-10 how seriously are we considering being sugar babies?
I'm about a 7.95
GLITTER SLIP N SLIDE MUTHAFUCKAH~
I don't know where he learned to eat pussy but I thought I was going blind
Do you know how hard it is to be while you're high with a chuck Norris poster in the bathroom?
Dude hobos go hard. I learned a lot last night.
Awkward is sitting in your parking spot and making eye contact with every one of your next door neighbors two hours before you have a threesome.
Oh yeah. I pretty much fucked the universes brains out lastnight. It was glorious.
Yes, if by 'finishing my business' you mean vomiting in her bathtub and losing my watch.
Brother gave me a harry potter philosophy book for xmas we need to get stoned and talk about this.
Do you realize our room single-handedly hooked up with most of that wedding party last night?
Randomize
