You should see what I'm doing to your stuffed animals
The walls in my apartment are so thin that sometimes when I fart, I stop to listen if people are laughing next door.
I wish I could tape me & him having sex. Not for pornographic reasons, just for comic relief.
wait, do i give off the impression that i DON'T want girls to show me their boobs if i video chat with them?
i'd date him for the sole reason that he thanks me after giving him head
When did we start counting Thursdays as weekends?
When we got our fake ids in grade 11, why?
I just feel like it's time to start counting wednesdays as well...
Doctor took one look at my penis and said, 'you don't have herpes, you just masturbate too much'
We broke two of his toes while having sex. He laughed said he'd fix it in the morning and kept going. I think I'm in love
Just did lines off your face, congrats on getting in the magazine bro
That white girl was surprised to see orange pubes around my black cock. Happy Halloween!
I plan on just grabbing someone's dick if I have to. They will know what's up. Why else do you go to a bar alone on valentines day?
I will keep you posted and someday if we daydrink teach you how to do a footjob
my only goal for the semester is never go to my wednesday class sober
I'm sorry I threw a frog in your car last night.
He drives a PT Cruiser.... that should have been my first clue.
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