i think i would be perfectly content if, on my deathbed, i could look back on a life that didn't have any fisting in it
there was a guy here who managed to get his head stuck in a fishbowl. no, I don't fuckin know how
on a scale of 1-10how much freaking out is acceptable if you just found a (possibly used) cock ring in the head board that your parents gave you?
well i had to explain to their mom why the kids i babysit for won't stop repeating the phrase "nice juicy guido"
he was so high that he wouldn't speak to anybody for like 30 minutes, he'd only gobble, like a turkey.
He fucked volume into my hair. It was amazing.
After four attempts, his condom would not flush. I had to remove it with salad tongs.
drove into oncoming traffic. add a minute to my ETA
He's the kind of drunk guy that would pee in your mouth while you give him head.
She made a roadhead CD. Can I marry her?
It's end St Patricks day. I'm gonna need a leash. And a bib. And a rain check on anything considered dignifying.
Exactly. So you're exempt under the "I can't just fuck her to make it go away" clause of 2010.
The stoned girl at the dining hall just handed me a single chicken wing and insisted that she's "unable to procure more rations"
yeah we're mixing orange juice, vodka, and rum and calling it Oj Simpson On Trial
She unfriended me four minutes after we fucked. That must be some sort of record.
Randomize
