You'd love this place it's beautiful. Plus these people smell like garlic
I saw a penis in my cereal this morning. do you think my cheerios are like professor trelawney's tea leaves?
one can only hope.
She said she never had to courage to go fully shaved. Since when did shaving your snatch become courageous?
I really should sober up and deal with this hangover
It seems to be one of those life decisions I'm perfectly content never making though
At what point should i just give my brother a break and stop sleeping with his friends?
he keeps trying to sext me and all I can do is respond with descriptions of what im eating.
Remember when puke and rally meant a good time? Fuck pregnancy
Yeah, but she is forever sending my vagina on some sort of mission.
So dude comes out in a full body leotard and a wand and announced he's king of the gays. Chicago is a weird but fun place
I swear man, you fly across the country to give a boy your virginity and he suddenly thinks you like him
We're gonna be late. Scott went too far predrinking amd tried pierce his own lip with a poptab. Save me a beer, i'm gonna need it.
I think I'm at a stage of my life where I subconsciously purposefully fuck everything up just to see if I can find a way out of it.
Just threw up in a cup driving down the road because there was cop behind me and I didn't want to pull over. Not sure if winning or failing at life.
You ate my ass why wouldn't I remember you
I just put my eye make up on in the bathroom of the bar.... I may be too comfortable here....
Randomize
