i know we just met, but i forget your name, and i'm wondering why my penis burns?
I just remembered we were doing butt clenching exercising with bar straws last night
Just got head while drinking hot cocoa and eating cookies. Never in my life have I felt more like santa claus
I don't hate you. My dick is upset with you, but I don't hate you.
It hit me after I slept with his best friends and brother, that maybe I took it a bit far
Think worst case scenario and then dress sluttier
yea, their son has been arrested on more than one occassion, their daughter is pregnant and their other daughter graduated but she was adopted, so clearly genes are everything.
Its a good night to get drunk in my onesie.
I wouldn't be surprised. You and I have basically synced up our brain chemistry by doing drugs together in the same way that two girls would sync their menstrual cycles by sharing a house.
I used to put Bugles on my penis and pretend it was a wizard.
So. Somehow managed to fuck my contacts out of my eyes. Didn't know that was even possible.
You grabbed your house keys, threw them at the door and asked, "did it open?"
It was the cape. I can't control myself when I wear a cape.
YOU DONT EAT A GIRL OUT AND THEN GO PUKE ASSHOLE
Can I borrow your pants?
WTH?
Just come to the men’s room and help me. The blonde bartender figured out I’m married. Rachel will definitely notice if come home pantsless
Randomize